


If love is what you need, a Soldier I will be

by FinnReyfitzsimmonsshipper



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, But the reylo kiss never happened, But this time it's healthy, Canon Universe, Drama, F/M, Finn Needs A Hug (Star Wars), Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force-Sensitive Finn (Star Wars), Hurt Rey (Star Wars), Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Inspired by Real Events, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Medic Finn, Mental Health Issues, Nightmares, One Shot, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rey Has Issues (Star Wars), Rey Needs A Hug (Star Wars), So slight canon divergence, Touch-Starved Rey (Star Wars), Whump, but not in a sexual context, it's actually pretty sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-18 04:54:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28737594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FinnReyfitzsimmonsshipper/pseuds/FinnReyfitzsimmonsshipper
Summary: Rey has returned from Tatooine after finally laying the Skywalker sabers to rest. She had hoped that with the burial of the weapons that had brought chaos and peace to the galaxy, she would have some peace in her soul. However, that is when things seem to go horribly wrong for Rey. Only this time, she's not alone.OR:Rey is back from Tatooine and she is falling apart. Thankfully, she has Finn there to help pick up the pieces.
Relationships: Finn & Rey (Star Wars), Finn/Rey (Star Wars)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 12





	If love is what you need, a Soldier I will be

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Pan_2000](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pan_2000/gifts).



> Hello There! I'm finally back again, because honestly? It's been waaay too long since I was last able to sit down and actually upload something. I should start off by saying how sorry I am that I've been away, but life happens. I have been adulting for a few months now and I had (and have) a lot to work through, so unfortunately writing in canon and otherwise has taken a backseat, so to speak. 
> 
> With that said, I am really grateful to those of you who have stayed on this crazy train and have continued to show up when I write... anything! Now, with all of the feels out of the way, I want to take this moment to give a quick thank you to Pan_2000, who is honestly one of the best people in my life right now. He is the Finn to my Rey, and I am always so thankful to have him in my corner. 
> 
> So, before we get into the story, I want to attach a couple of trigger warnings for frank depictions of PTSD and Nightmares. I understand that this is upsetting for some people, so if this is just something you can't stomach, then that is 100% okay. 
> 
> I based this story off of my own personal experiences, and merely took some creative liberties. Now, without further ado, I hope you all enjoy.

**Rey POV:**

_I am on Starkiller Base again, in the same interrogation rig. The cold restraints bind my upper arms, wrists, and ankles so tightly that I can already feel cutting off the blood flow. I can see Ren in the corner, his hands open but still dangerous. He stalks over to me, and I can't comprehend what's happening besides him raising his hand and the Force and_ **_pain._ **

I wake up panting, but choose to stay lying down. My heart races, and I can feel physical pain in my wrists and ankles. My eyes well up with tears, and I clutch my right wrist to my chest. The pain is approaching blinding levels, and I know who I need. I quietly get up from my bed as not to startle little D-O and slip out of my bedroom door.   
  
I need Finn. I can feel his consciousness through our fledgling bond, and before I can stop myself, I’m knocking on his door. The door slides open and I can see Finn sitting up on his bed with a sad look in his eyes. 

"Morning," I say as I sit next to him. Finn wraps an arm around me and I lean into the touch. Warmth blooms from the spot, and tears fill my eyes. 

"Good morning," Finn replies. "Same as always?" 

I hum an affirmative. "Mm-hmm. It felt so real." 

Finn holds me close, "I know but that's history. You're here with me now, and Poe. We're in an old Resistance base and no one is going to try and do that again." 

"It hurts," I whisper into his chest. 

"What hurts?" Finn replies, rubbing my back. 

I hold my wrist close and say, "My wrist. It hurts like I was actually restrained." Finn hums and moves to grab it, but I whine and back away. The tears run over and I shake my head. "N-NO!" My heart rate spikes as I begin crying in earnest. 

"Shhh," He softly says. "It's okay, I'm not gonna hurt you. I just want to see if there's any swelling or something else I should worry about. I need to know that so I can see if we need Poe or not. You're safe." 

I shake my head, the pain in my wrist intensifying. "It hurts! I--" I cut myself off, trying to calm myself. I can feel my mind regressing, but I'm so upset I'm not sure if I can control it. 

Finn finally lets go of my wrist before saying, "I know it hurts, that's why I need to look at it." 

I shake my head. "Don't touch it! I don't like it." 

Finn lowers his hands to his lap and says, "I know. But I also think that you're getting a little too upset, and it might be making this out to be a lot worse than it is." 

I try to rationalize, but my brain is moving too fast, and I can't control my thoughts. "It'll get worse!" 

"You don't know that. I could look at it, and it'll just need to be iced," Finn says. "If it'll help, I can go get Poe now." 

I can feel Finn's nerves fraying at the edges, which only sends me further. "He's gonna get mad too!" 

Finn shakes his head, "No one's mad Rey, everyone's okay. I just want to help you." 

I try to breathe and nod. "Just do it," I reply. 

Finn nods, and breathes a sigh of relief. "Thank you. I know this is hard." He turns on the lights and I wince at the brightness. 

I offer him my wrist and he gently takes it in his open palm, not grabbing it yet. "Can you warn me before you do stuff?" 

"Yeah, of course. I was going to anyway," Finn says. "Just, tell me if it hurts, okay?" 

I nod. "It hurts right now," I reply. "I'm sorry." 

"Not your fault," Finn replies. "Your wrist looks a little swollen. Do you think you hit it while you were asleep?" 

"Maybe," I reply. My heart pounds, but Finn doesn't mention it. 

"I'm gonna press on the top of your wrist a little, so it might hurt." Finn says. 

He presses lightly at the most swollen part of my wrist and I cry in pain. I try to jerk my wrist away, but Finn keeps his grip. I whine, and say, "Let go!" 

Finn doesn't let go, but I can feel his worry in the Force. "I can't yet Rey, I need to get a better look," He says. "I know it hurts, just let me see." 

"It hurts! Please stop," I say through tears. I can feel myself slipping again, and I hate how weak I must look and sound. 

"Hey," Finn whispers. "I know it hurts, but I promise I'm not going to try and restrain you like he did. Just let me make sure it's not hurting from your PTSD." 

I whine, and put my head into his chest again. "I'm sorry," I say as Finn soothingly rubs my head. 

"Shhh," Finn whispers. "I know, but it's not your fault. Would it help if I just look at both of your wrists to look for swelling? That should make things easier.”

I nod, noticing now that he hasn’t broke my gaze. I offer my other wrist, slowly this time, making sure he won’t hurt me. Finn looks down and notes, like I do, that my right wrist is both bruised and swollen. “Ow,” I say as Finn’s loose grip turns my wrist over.   
  
“I know,” Finn replies. He steels himself, and I can feel his sympathy and anxiety. “I’m gonna have to press on your wrist a little bit to feel for any fractures or breaks. Is it okay if I do that? If not, I will stop right now.”   
  
“Go ahead,” I reply, fear gripping my words. Tears of pain and fear roll down my face, prompting Finn’s face to fall. 

“Hey,” Finn whispers, hugging me close as my tears start in earnest. “It’s okay if you need to cry, just let it out. I’ll do it when you’re ready.”

I sob, letting my mind go for a bit. Because this was _Finn_ and Finn is _good_. I sit there for I don’t know how long until I finally run out of tears. I scoot out of Finn’s lap and sniffle a bit and say, “I’m ready.”   
  
Finn nods and says, “Good. I’m gonna go ahead and press lightly. Tell me if it hurts.” He gently puts pressure on my wrist with his thumb and forefinger, and it takes all of my restraint to not yank it away from him.   
  
“It hurts when you do that,” I say in one breath as I feel my hand begin to shake. Finn looks at me with a sympathetic and understanding look.

”Okay. Thank you for telling me. I only need to press a little more to be sure there’s no break.”   
  
I whine a bit, but allow him to move his fingers to the left side of my wrist. It is then that I release an actual cry of pain and feel the bone shift. “I’m sorry,” I say quickly. “I didn’t mean to—“ 

“Shhh,” Finn says, releasing his hold on my wrist. “Of course you didn’t mean to! You’re safe, I’m not mad. I just need to get your wrist splinted, okay?”   
  
I nod, my chin wobbling as tears fill my eyes. My mind feels like it’s separating from my body, and I start to shake. I feel like I’m not quite in control as I say, “That’s gonna hurt too!”   
  
Finn looks sympathetically at me, but I can see the exhaustion in his face as well. I don’t want him to leave, I want to be easier to deal with but it _hurts_ and I just want to _sleep_. But it’s clear to me that that’s not an option as he says, “I promise it won’t hurt that bad, and I’ll hold you for as long as you need after that. Just let me do this.”   
  
I nod, and Finn moves to get the med kit. He grabs the bandages and wraps my wrist slowly but steadily. They’re tight around my fracture, but not painful like I thought. I feel my heart gradually slow down, and Finn finally finishes wrapping my wrist. “Thank you,” I tell him. “I’m sorry I made it so difficult.”

Finn shakes his head and opens his arms for me to crawl into. I gladly oblige him and curl into his embrace as he lays back on the bed. My broken wrist lays on his chest, and he runs his fingers through my hair. “You’re okay,” he whispers as his free hand closes the medkit and moves it to his nightstand. “I’m not mad. Everyone is safe. I know it was awful, but it wasn’t real.”

I nod, and he slips us under the covers. I feel tears drip off my face and see them fall on his shirt. “I just want to get better.”

”I know,” Finn says. “You will, it’ll just take time. But that’s okay, because I’m not leaving.”


End file.
